I am not the most competitive Clancyvox in the world, but there are a few things in this world that I feel I must win.
Monday’s must be won.
Forget those weirdos that say Sunday is the start of the week. It aint, no matter how many “Puppy of the Month” calendars you may have. (And believe you me, I have plenty.) Monday is the day when the bell rings, and you either answer it, or you put it on snooze.
I am usually pretty excited to win Monday, because my weekends are full of what weekends should be full of: pretzels, IPA’s, naps, donuts and an overall downward trajectory of my fitness and nutrition goals.
The last time I saw a carrot over the weekend, I….(insert old timey comic joke here.)
So, it was with much dismay that this Monday morning, this first Monday after the Daylight Savings conspiracy to get us all out of bed an hour earlier, my so-called 24 Hour Fitness was not yet open.
I can only imagine that the 19 year old girl who “works” the front desk had not yet heard about this Daylight Savings thing on her Instagram, and thus thought it fine and dandy to keep sleeping as me and about 20 other early morning workout suckers patiently waited outside the door doing semi stretches, awkwardly not making eye contact with each other, and generally feeling proud of ourselves for overcoming the Daylight Savings challenge.
After about 22 minutes of waiting in the dark however, I and a few others decided that life was too short, and certainly Monday mornings are too short to stand around any longer waiting for the poor girl who will no doubt be filled with misplaced rage at all of us for making her get up so damn early.
I got in my car and drove home.
So, can I still win Monday, even as I have suffered this early morning setback? Is the rest of the day, the week, the month, the year totally screwed now? Because of this, will I now become fat, lazy and stupid? Or worse yet, will my body be defined by a complete stranger at the beach as “somewhat doughy”?
A few years ago, I would have taken this setback as a sign that I should get back in bed and curse stupid 19 year old girls who don’t value having a job.
Today, thankfully I have changed. When the Monday demon throws one of these (admittedly white guy) hurdles at me, such as a sleepy 19 year old,I know that there still is a way to overcome.I don’t have to go home, climb in bed,admit defeat, open up a box of Ho Ho’s and say “oh well, I will get em next time”. There are still so many ways to beat Monday’s butt…
So I go home and write.
So I go home and try to figure out “Purple Rain” on the piano.
So I go home and read an interesting book for 20 minutes.
So I meditate, breathe and pray for 15 minutes.
So I drag Murphy Dog up on the bed and use him as a pillow while doing all the other previously listed things.
Yes, maybe the day didn’t start out as planned, and yes you may have had a goal already derailed for the week. But that is only because Monday is a fierce competitor. You have to be ready for anything with this Monday character…so be ready for anything.